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Embracing Depth: The Art of Purposeful Dialogue

Embracing Depth: The Art of Purposeful Dialogue

Some people ask me why I sometimes appear unfriendly, especially when I find myself in crowded places with many people talking, laughing, and maybe even eating.

Why don’t you talk with anybody as you usually do?” they ask. “Why do you seem uninterested in topics that you usually love?”.

“Sometimes it seems like you’re behaving this way on purpose, as if you enjoy being unfriendly. What’s worse, because of the job you do, it seems like you hate people, that you have issues with other humans, and you don’t like them.”

I could continue talking about what friends and family tell me every time I find myself among crowds or even at dinner in a restaurant (though, if I have to be honest, I haven’t had a group dinner in a restaurant since 2022).

I don't Believe in Anything: I Know

Well, the fact is that I know (and beware because I used the verb “to know” and not “to believe”) that interacting with others means having a conversation, and this, in turn, means giving and receiving useful information.

Talking in a mechanical way, just because you need to, just because somebody in the past (maybe when you were young) told you that you should always talk when you are with other people because silence is not appropriate…well, I don’t do that, simply because I’m an awakened person.

As I mentioned earlier, for me, talking is about having a meaningful conversation, not merely expelling air from my mouth to utter trivialities like “Oh yes! It’s very hot today”. I mean, if we’re sweating, it’s obviously hot, and if we’re shivering, it’s obviously cold. It’s nonessential information.
So, my behaviour has nothing to do with being “unfriendly”; quite the opposite. It’s because I respect others that I prefer to either have a genuine conversation or not talk at all.

Now, What Does “Having a Conversation” Mean?

Having a conversation means that you share your experiences or wisdom with me, and I do the same with you. It involves taking advantage of the time we spend together, not stating the obvious, but exchanging valuable information that enriches our lives. Neither you nor I speak from the ego, aiming to demonstrate how much we know or how extensive our life experiences are. On the contrary, both of us speak to share and help the person in front of us, contributing to enriching their life.
However, it doesn’t finish there because having a conversation also means listening to each other and respecting the speech turn.

But there’s more: if what you are saying is not useful to me, I’ll listen, but when it’s my turn to talk, I’ll tell you, in a friendly way, that the conversation isn’t helping me (and the same rules apply to you). Because life is short and precious, I have no time to lose discussing the weather, how immature men are, or the trendy colour of the season. I want to know you, and I want our conversation to be mutually beneficial (as you should desire the same).

So please, if you have nothing interesting to say, please shut up. 

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